What would your favourite character’s voicemail message be like?
One of my favourites is Professor Snape. This is my guess for his message.
“Thank you so much for wasting my time with your trivial message. If it had been important you would have no doubt sent it by owl. If you insist on leaving a message please choose one of the following options.
If you are hoping to get extra credits on your potions exam please press 1 (that’s the button on the bottom left of the phone Mr Longbottom)
If you are a death eater wanting to exterminate me please press 2 for a free Cruciatus Curse.
If you are Lucius Malfoy or Lord Voldemort please press 2 twice.
If you are a parent complaining about the way I treat your children please press 3 for a lecture on Discipline and the Young
If you are Albus Dumbledore please press 4 for a grovelling message of apology
If none of these apply to you and you insist on leaving a message please send me it to me via Owl or Flu and not by a pathetic Muggle device.
Now sod off.”
🙂