Wesley Snipes is Back As Blade and he’s Bigger and Better Than Ever!!

He’s big, he’s bad, and he bites back. Wesley Snipe’s “”Blade: Trinity”” is campy good fun. The first Blade was a fun, fighting good time, while the second one took itself way too seriously and failed miserably. Director/Writer David Goyer learned from his mistake and turned the 3rd outing into a campy affair, which, as long as you are able to shut your mind off and take it for the shlock that it’s supposed to be you’ll have a blast at the theater.

Sure you can complain about the horrible acting, the incredibly lame plot, but wait there is Abigail Whistler (Jessica Biel) spending five minutes of screen time making a music mix on her iPod. I mean like they said, you can’t go into a battle if your tunes aren’t correct. As much as I dislike Apple, and their product placements, you have to admire their marketing team – really, if you only watched Hollywood productions, you would think the only computer in the world is an Apple. I mean EVERY (at least 99 percent) film and television production uses an Apple computer on screen. The music in “”Blade: Trinity”” is uniformly awful and headache inducing, yet, somehow works within the context of the movie.The pacing of the film is fast enough to distract you from its serious flaws, just when you think a fight scene is starting to go off track, they’ll cut to something else or you’ll notice the WWE’s HHH – Hunter Hearst Helmsley – real name, Paul Michael Levesque pop up on screen. He can give lessons in scene chewing. His character didn’t serve any purpose in the plot, other than to be a presence, and generic bad guy. But I swear he was on the screen for 60 percent of the film. He was distracting, but for some reason, maybe it’s because I’m a wrestling fan, every time I saw him, I laughed out loud.Ryan Reynolds is the real find in this; as the ex-vampire (Hannibal King) turned into a Vampire Hunter, he serves as the film’s very able comic relief. Getting about 90 percent of the film’s best lines, you look forward to seeing what he’s going to say or do next. If it wasn’t for Reynold’s gonzo performance “”Blade: Trinity”” would have failed the way Blade 2 did. In “”Blade: Trinity,”” Blade gets set up by a group of Vampires led by the god awful, and butt ugly Danica Talos (Parker Posey). I cannot describe how awful Parker Posey looked and acted in this film. She had this perpetual sour grapes look on her face as if she was wading around in a pile of manure – which, in essence she was. The people sitting around me were commenting that they couldn’t wait until she bites the big one, we were all sitting with baited breath waiting for her fabulous death scene, ready to stand up and shout, and in the end the audience gets cheated.Which brings us back to the plot of this flick, as I said before, Blade finds himself getting set up by a group of Vamps, and Familiars (humans who help Vampires). They film Blade killing a human, which ends up turning Blade into public enemy number one. While Blade is being chased by the cops and the FBI, the vampires resurrect Dracula (Dominic Purcell) in the hopes that his blood will purify them and enable them to walk in the daylight. Blade finds himself alone, cornered and trapped in police custody, when a vampire hunting group called “”The Night Stalkers”” rescues him.David Goyer does an adequate job in the directing chair. His camera moves are visually affecting, and his action scenes are fairly well staged. He doesn’t resort to shaky cam, or quick cuts – like he did in Blade 2. This time out he takes you into the action; which actually diminishes Snipe’s very real fighting talent; but it does show off Biel and Reynold’s skills. Somehow Blade’s abilities are diminished when we have lowly humans (well trained humans with cool gadgets) taking out huge numbers of vamps and familiars by themselves. The point of Blade is that he is the only one with the strength, speed, agility and ability to take out vampires. When these super bad vamps get taken out by a 100 pound waif, it makes them look kind of weak and pathetic. Another funny thing is, why would you want to be immortal if you end up being a security job or janitor for the rest of your existence? I can understand the Vampire leadership wanting immortality because hey, they are rich and powerful, but what’s the appeal of being someone’s minion for eternity. Reynold’s answer to this question is one of the film’s funnier moments. And that’s the cool thing about Goyer’s writing, every time you start to question the ludicrous plot, or situation, Goyer comes up with a funny throwaway line or moment that explains it. Despite its serious flaws, if you are able to view it in the spirit that it’s intended “”Blade: Trinity”” is a fun ride at the theater. Final Grade BEM Reviewby Michelle AlexandriaOriginally Posted 12/08/04

Updated: December 8, 2004 — 8:59 am