Tag Archives: Movie Review

Movie Review: The House with a Clock in its Wall Michelle’s Take!

The problem with Jack Black’s latest film, The House with a Clock in Its Walls is how derivative and unimaginative it is. It’s a blatant rip off of several recent and upcoming R.L. Stine movie adaptations. It tries really hard to distinguish itself but it doesn’t and Black’s constant winking at the camera doesn’t help matters. Beyond the really long and weird name, this is a movie that wants to be creepy, but can’t go all out because at the end of the day it is a kid’s horror film; so it settles for being weird.

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Movie Review: The Predator Becomes Michelle’s Prey!

You would think since I grew up in the 80s, Predator should have been one of those franchises that I was all over back in the day. However, shockingly enough, I never sat down and watched any of the Predator films from start to finish. That is until the recent 4K UHD release where I had a marathon and watched 5 hours of glorious carnage. Problem is the trailers ruined what few surprises The Predator had to offer.

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Avengers: Infinity War – Ka-Boom!

Anyone who’s read Marvel comics over the last four decades knows that any prolonged story arc will usually lead to one heckuva blowout in that arc’s conclusion.

That’s exactly what happens in Avengers: Infinity War – the final chapter (or is it?) of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s current arc.
Since pretty much every sequence in Infinity War is, in some way, a spoiler, this is a review that’s proved difficult. But here we go…

People die.

People we care about die.

People we don’t care about (or even actively hate) die.

People we care about – but know we probably shouldn’t – die.

Only one character gets even a moderately happy ending.
Technically, the film is directed with panache; the CGI are bloody brilliant; every character gets a moment (or two) to shine.
The film’s running time of 149 minutes does not feel nearly that long.

Even though I’ve read some of the comics upon which Infinity War is based, my first reaction to film as a whole was, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

Avengers: Infinity War is not the best of the Marvel movies – not by a long shot – but it’s entertaining as hell for those who like the big blowout issues of certain Marvel Comics arcs (like, say, Infinity War).

For anyone who’s never seen a Marvel movie, this will likely confuse and frustrate you.

For fans of the comics and the previous Marvel movies, Infinity War will bring the current cycle of the studio’s films to a poignant semi-conclusion.

Note: there’s only one post-credits tag – at the very end of the credits – and it’s a good one.

Final Grade: B+

Blade Runner 2049 – An Uninspired Clone. Michelle’s (SPOILER Free) Review!

RYAN GOSLING as K in Alcon Entertainment’s action thriller “BLADE RUNNER 2049,” a Warner Bros. Pictures and Sony Pictures Entertainment release, domestic distribution by Warner Bros. Pictures and international distribution by Sony Pictures.

Hello, my name is Michelle Alexandria, I hate Blade Runner. I know I’m alone on my island, it’s peaceful here. Despite numerous attempts, I’ve never been able to make it past the first 40 minutes so I promised myself to watch it fully before seeing Blade Runner 2049. I wanted to fully understand it’s tedious “plot” before going into the sequel. Turns out I really didn’t need to subject myself to that because this movie is everything that’s wrong with sequels – it is almost an exact clone of the first movie. From the look to the plot, the movie is both hamstrung and “covered” by its adherence to its past. If you liked or loved the first one, then you will feel exactly the same about this one.

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I hate this silly and juvenile idea people have that somehow giving something an R Rating will automatically make a movie better, or the only reason a film sucked was because it was PG or PG-13 instead of R. This has been one of the ongoing complaints from fans of Wolverine for years. Logan is the R-Rated Wolverine film fans have been begging for is finally upon us. But is it any good?

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Movie Review: Lego Batman Movie Gets Old. Michelle’s Review!

I think I may be the only person in the universe who has never understood the fascination with Legos and didn’t particularly like The Lego Movie. I appreciated the humor in it, but ultimately it falls apart and doesn’t work as a movie. The same thing happens again with The Lego Batman Movie. It starts off great, the humor is solid and it manages to walk that line of working for both kids and adults. However, somewhere along the line the film just starts to drag, the jokes and the story become repetitive and the stuff with Batgirl and Bruce Wayne, just god awful. Check out the Video review after the break.

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Movie Review: 50 Shades of Grey Beats Michelle into Submission

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I’m sorry, but I can’t get past the idea that 50 Shades of Grey started off as god awful pornographic Twilight fanfiction: no, really, you morons turned Twilight FANFICTION about Bella and Edward bondage into a worldwide phenomenon. Now because of all of you jag-offs, I’m going to have to live with this never-ending film franchise for the next four – five freaking years.

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Michelle Finally Reviews Intersteller and thinks its a Mess!

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Christopher Nolan what am I going to do with you? Your movies are always big on ideas and concepts but somehow manage to fall apart in the 3rd act – usually when it calls for you to direct an action scene. I’m almost always glad I went on the journey but ultimately disappointed when I arrive at the destination. Interstellar starts off great but falls under the weight of its own ideas.

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Horns: Joe Hill’s Book Makes a Good, Creepy Movie!

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Horns is based on the novel by Joe Hill. It stars Daniel Radcliffe as Ig Perrish, broken-hearted young man who is believed by everyone in town to have raped and murdered his girlfriend, Merrin Williams. Things get weird when he awakens after a night of serious drinking with horns beginning to grow out of his forehead.

Written by Keith Bunin (In Treatment) and directed by Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes), Horns is a deeply disturbed, bleakly funny and frequently scary little film that gives Radcliffe another quality role.

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Transformers: Age of Extinction Brings the FUN Back to Theaters

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I always say that it is ok for Critics to have a bias when we walk into a theater, a good movie will be good regardless of your initial opinion, a truly great movie has the ability to turn you into a fan and change your mood. To make glad you dragged yourself out to the theater. Yeah, I know people are whining and complaining about Transformers, but are people complaining about the movie or just projecting their irrational hatred and jealousy of Michael Bay onto the film? He knows his audience and delivers everything a fan of this franchise could want and more.

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The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is one trip too many to Middle Earth, Michelle’s Review!

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Ok, after five trips into middle earth, I’ve officially crossed over from being completely ambivalent about the world that JRR Jackson, I mean Director Peter Jackson created to pretty much hating it. I’ve seen film padding before, but Jackson’s nearly 3-hour The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is a textbook example of the old adage that “Even the best directors need an editor,” and Jackson hardly qualifies as a “best director.” Someone at WB needs to learn how to say no to Jackson.

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