The rules are vague, but simple: If a movie from our past includes a teenage character – any teenage character, at all – it becomes fair game for “Not Another Teen Movie,” a cinematic “Mad” magazine aimed squarely at the toilet-humor sect.
“Teen Movie” loosely follows the plot of the already roast-worthy “She’s All That,” a Freddie Prinze Jr. laugher about a stud who transforms a geeky babe into the prom queen. The jock in question here is the perfectly dubbed Jake Wyler (Chris Evans), and his project is Janey Briggs (Chryler Leigh), a “hideous” art student who’s shunned by her peers because she wears her hair in a ponytail and has paint on her overalls. As expected, the bare bones plot merely sets up a slew of spoofs skewering popular (and not so popular) teen movies from the ‘80s and ‘90s. The jokes, both good and bad, whip by with the speed of a Chris Tucker monologue. The hectic pace not only allows self-proclaimed John Hughes experts the chance to test themselves by identifying the source of each gag, but it also moves along the assorted stinkers before they tank the entire production. After a while, though, director Joel Gallen juggles so many allusions that he begins to mix his metaphors. So, we get a “Risky Business” party set-up set to the “Ferris Bueller” soundtrack. As with the humor, the film’s numerous cameos are spotty. Shortly after Mr. T pities the production with a rib-tickling turn, Molly Ringwald shows up to forfeit her treasured ‘80s crown in a hail of vulgarity and imprudent wisdom. After her grueling tour of duty through each of our childhood memories, she deserves more.Grade: C-THE EXTRASOddly enough, it will take you longer to get through the extras on Columbia TriStar’s “Teen” DVD, which – depending on your opinion – is a bonus. The features retain the style of humor found in the film’s screenplay, and a lot of time is spent discussing the ‘80s films “Teen” sends up, especially in one of the disc’s most creative elements, the “Test Your Teen Movie IQ.” The quiz recruits the stars of the film to read questions about the movie and subsequent movies that “Teen” stole from.Moving over to production featurettes, there are (at last count) approximately three different “behind the scenes” clips wrapped up in one giant “School’s In Session” package. “Best Dressed” addresses costume design, “Class Clown” skips through the film’s choice gross-out gags and the 12-minute “My Freshman Year” follows Gallen on his debut directorial effort. The cast and crew heap praise. Gallen graciously accepts them.Three must be a lucky number, as the “Teen” DVD also offers three different commentary tracks – two audio and one text. Is there anything more tedious than text-based commentary? This is one feature that the DVD format just doesn’t carry well. The “Teen” text commentary resembles VH1’s “Pop-Up Video,” but the facts are lame.Looking for deleted scenes? “Teen” serves up 18 of them. Some of them are extended versions of existing scenes, and one is an alternate ending that looks just like the original. A funny “Sixteen Candles” send-up caps this session, and nudity fans (raise your hands!) will be very pleased to know that the naked foreign exchange student shows up two more times in two lengthy scenes.The entire cast gets an awful lot of attention from the “Teen” DVD. “The Yearbook” features stills and animated clips of the cast, while the “Meet the Cast” promos show the actors in character describing the roles they play. These are extremely funny, though I don’t recall seeing them on TV when the movie came out. Too bad. Gallen also throws a produced “Auditions Montage” running about 8 minutes. Like most of the features, it’s pretty funny.As is Gallen’s first film, a short starring Jenny McCarthy called “Car Ride.” Let’s just say I’m glad I’m not bald!Grade: B+OVERALL EXPERIENCE: B-It’s easier to laugh at the crude humor of “Teen” in the comfort of your own home. CTHE went above and beyond with its special extras, so if you laughed at the feature, you’ll continue to laugh for a few hours more.By Sean O’ConnellMay 2, 2002