The following quotes were taken from actual medical records, as dictated by physicians.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
I hope I haven’t sent any of these quotes onto a patient’s record.