Here’s a little clarification of corporate lingo.
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our
competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up well; a couple of the real daring guys wear
earrings.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first
day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each
weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED:
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain
that way).
APPLY IN PERSON:
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position
has been filled.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We have filled the job. Our call for resumes is just
a legal formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY
OF EXPERIENCE:
You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager,
without the pay or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you, figure out what
they want and do.