American Idol – What an Inspiration, bleck…

Oh god, gag me. In honor of American Idol Gives Back (which I refuse to watch tomorrow/Wed night) it’s Inspirational song night. Tonight’s report was interrupted by another chapter of my favorite Harry Potter fan fiction being posted, so while it’s begging for me to read it, I’m going to slap this report together in the half-a fashion that you’ve come to expect from me. I’m really going to speed through this, because I really want to read the latest chapter of this story. It’s called Backwards With a Purpose if you want to check it out.

First up is Michael Johns, he’s doing a pretty decent version of Dream On. Let’s see if he attempts the note. The poor boy tries it. This is the first performance of his that I kind of liked. Randy and his damn pitch problems. Don’t care what Paula says, so I’ll skip right to Simon.  Simon thought it was good, but he thought Johns tried to impersonate a rock star. I actually agree with both Randy and Simon. It was a decent performance, nothing great.

It’s time for Syesha, gotta throw the sister some love. She sucks, but she’s the only black person left.  She’s doing some song called I Believe. She sounds good, but she just lacks passion, and during the chorus her voice is completely drowned out by the choir. She is displaying some passion finally and it would work if it you could actually hear her. The audio production is AWFUL. It’s a conspiracy, American Idol don’t want black people this year. There, I’ve said it! Randy felt like I did, the performance lacked connection.  Who cares what Paula says. Simon said she sung it well, but lacked passion.

It’s time for the serious Dreadlock guy, Jason Castro. I want to see this kid actually smile and rock out. I’m really tired of his bad Paul Simon impression. But he has something, that’s compelling to watch.  He’s doing the Breta Ys (I know I butchered his name, but I love this song and have been trying to track down who sung it for years. So kind readers tell me the correct spelling) of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  He’s pretty good, but his performance lacks conviction and it seems to much like he’s trying to imitate the guy instead of putting his own spin on it. What’s wrong with Randy? He loved this.

Coming after the break is Kristy Lee Cook, I can’t stand her, but the last two weeks she’s come on strong. Maybe all that rumored country music industry support she’s been getting is true.  She’s going to do Anyway by Martina McBride? Wait a sec, I have to watch these lame intro videos to find out the song titles? She’s terrible, I’m skipping to the comments. Randy loved it. Simon loved the overall package, not the song so much.

David Cook is doing some song called Innocent. Never heard of it. He really does look like a star tonight, that’s a hot jacket he’s wearing. But for the first time, wait a sec, they are at the Chorus, this is a song I used to love, but his performance is horrid. The Choir just sucks tonight. And he has this lame “Give Back,” thing penciled into his palm. How shameless can he get. Randy didn’t like it, but liked the Jacket. Randy’s is channeling me tonight.  Simon called the performance pompous and didn’t like it at all.

Irish Tatoo Girl is going to attempt Show Must Go On by Queen. Another song, I love. Let’s see. Love the Orchestra. Not feeling the opening, lets see if she hits the high point. It’s just not working and there is something wrong with the audio because the choir just sounds hot and out of tune and is drowning out the singers. Not a good performance.  Randy thought it was just ok. Paula has a negative comment? My god the world has tilted. Simon thought she over sang it.

It’s time for Archie with his stupid Macbook. I’m skipping ahead. Of course the judges will love him. Randy went bonkers. Simon loved him. Really is there any point in watching anything to do with little Davyboy. The fix is in, he’s winning this year. No matter how crappy he is. The only question is who is going to be number 2 and 3. Closing the show is my little dark horse, Brooke White. She’s going to do You’ve Got A Friend. I like the James Taylor version, she’s doing the original. I like the song a lot, but not something you do to wow an audience with. Let’s she how she does. She’s on point, singing it with some passion.  Where everyone made a mistake tonight is they went for the big band, choir stuff and it didn’t work. While Brooke kept it simple. She’s the best of the night. It wasn’t an overwhelming performance but it worked. Randy thought it was Ok. Simon thought it was like a pleasant walk in the park.  Tomorrow night is Idol Gives Back, which I already said I won’t watch and Thursday is supposedly when one gets voted off. But they’ll do the same thing they did last year and give everyone a free pass. Not to mention they would look like complete Aholes sending someone home this week.