found this site and thought i would share:
Bozo Criminal for September 6, 2002
Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 1139: If you’re going to commit a crime, wear the proper clothing. From North Wildwood, New Jersey comes the story of bozo Shawn West who was trying to rob a concession stand at a New Jersey pier. Bozo Shawn was fashionably attired in a pair of those extremely baggy jeans and when the roll up door of the stand went up it took along him and his jeans. The cops found the 17 year old hanging by his drawers. He’s under arrest.
Bozo Criminal for September 5, 2002
Bozo criminals for today come from Sacramento, California where bozos John Hampton and Paul Sloan worked well as a team. John would hold up the bank and Paul would wait outside in the getaway car. Things were going extremely well, in fact the police estimated they had pulled of at least 15 successful robberies before Paul made a fatal error in judgment. While John was inside a Sacramento bank, Paul noticed a nice new car wash across the street. And since the old getaway car was kind of dirty, he decided to run it through the wash while John was doing his thing. Sad to say, the car wash was busy that day and our bozos were still waiting for the car to emerge when the cops arrived and arrested them both.
Bozo Criminal for September 4, 2002
Bozo criminals for today come from the International File. From Shanghai, China comes the story of a couple of lovesick bozos who really meant no harm to anyone but ended up getting themselves arrested anyway. Our Chinese bozos learned of a fad in Japan where couples walk around handcuffed together as a show of their devotion. So our bozos bought themselves a pair of handcuffs on a recent trip to Japan and couldn’t wait to get back home to show them off. They handcuffed their wrists together and went for a little stroll. They didn’t get very far before a tourist spotted them and, thinking something might be wrong, pointed them out to a policeman. The cop, obviously not a fan of young love, told them that it’s illegal in China to use police equipment for anything other than their original purpose and hauled them in. He eventually let them go, but kept the cuffs. Can’t they just go to Zale’s like everyone else?
Bozo Criminal for September 3, 2002
Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Jim Roberts for sending in today’s report. From New Orleans, Louisiana comes the story of bozo Sam Lucas who was a wanted man. New Orleans police were searching for him in connection with a murder case. He was also a man in need of a cab and he walked up to a security guard at a bus station and asked if he could direct him to one. The security guard was a moonlighting detective from the New Orleans police force. And wouldn’t you know he was working on our bozo’s case. He recognized him immediately and instead of showing him to a cab he gave him a free ride to the police station.
Bozo Criminal for September 2, 2002
(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Richmond, Virginia where the local movie house was hosting a special screening of “The Wizard of Oz”. To promote the movie, the theatre had a giant pair of ruby slippers constructed. And very impressive they were, carved from styrofoam, five feet long and absolutely covered with red glitter. The slippers were placed atop the theatre’s marquee and the temptation must have proved too much for our bozo, as the next morning the slippers were gone. It didn’t take the cops long to crack the case, however. All they had to do was follow the trail of red glitter to our bozo’s apartment nearby.