Teen Lust’s main character is a mostly virtuous young person who goes to church, gets good grades, generally makes the right choices and is also a virgin – which is bad if the church the family belongs to is the Church of Satan and the young person is about to turn eighteen and become a blood sacrifice to unleash Hell on Earth.
What makes Teen Lust different is the sacrifice-to-be is a guy – Neil who has never been told why it’s so important he remain a virgin.
We meet Neil in the halls of his high school, talking his best friend, Matt (Daryl Sabara) and crushing on hot girl Cheryl (Amy Groening) – who invites him to a party. He begs off because he has a church thing.
He and Matt head to church where they pull black robes on over their dress clothes and file into the chapel (hidden behind a bookcase entrance) and take their places while the service continues. The ‘pastor (anti-pastor?), John (Cary Elwes) is giving a sermon on how Christianity has it backwards and Satan is the real Savior. Assisting him in the service is Mary (Kristen Bauer van Straten), who is the ice to Sheldon’s fire.
After the service, Neil overhears a conversation between John and his parents – Mary (Emmanuelle Vaugier) and Gary (Jon Dore) – in which they talk about keeping him pure for the sacrifice. Now, Neil discovers that he has to get laid to save the world!
There are the usual assortment of characters that appear and disappear throughout the film but the chief ones are Neil’s best female friend, Denise (Annie Clark) and the pair of young fanatics (Jon Cor, Leah Jones) John sends after Neil when they learn he’s trying to avoid his prophesied fate.
Neil and Matt frantically try to get Neil laid, but an attempt at the party fails; an effort with BFF Denise fails and even a prostitute named Ashley (Ali Tataryn) goes awry when they discover (after she’s hauls Matt’s ashes, no less) that she’s a member of the church and has ratted them out.
The idea to take familiar tropes and invert them makes Teen Lust a lot more fun than I was expecting. The script, by Jason Stone and Blaine Thurier, isn’t perfect, but it does show a love of B-movies and a recognition that by standing a set of tropes on its head you can effectively make a teen sex movie where the sex isn’t the central reason for its existence.
Rather, it’s the staggering lack of sex – especially for Neil – that makes the film more than just another late-night B-movie. And Thurier is smart enough to use that for both comedy and drama – enough to overcome the film’s non-existent budget (how they cast Elwes and Bauer van Straten, I don’t know).
Teen Lust won’t break any ribs from uproarious laughter, but it provides a steady stream of laughs and chuckles interspersed with a few priceless moments of high melodrama – and that’s enough to make it worth checking out.
Final Grade: B-