I’m sorry, but I can’t get past the idea that 50 Shades of Grey started off as god awful pornographic Twilight fanfiction: no, really, you morons turned Twilight FANFICTION about Bella and Edward bondage into a worldwide phenomenon. Now because of all of you jag-offs, I’m going to have to live with this never-ending film […]
Category: Movie Reviews
Movie Review: Kingsman: The Secret Service Brings The Fun back to Spy Flicks!
When a movie starts with an opening shot of a Helicopter battle with Dire Straight’s “Money of Nothing” playing over the opening credits, you know you are in for something a little different. One of my favorite Directors, Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass, Stardust) brings his unique sensibilities and a breath of fresh air to the stagnate […]
Outcast – East Meets West in the Middle Ages!
Outcast is a movie about a young Chinese prince called Zhao, whose father has chosen him to be heir over his older warrior brother, and his sister Lian – and the former Crusaders who help them. It’s a B-movie epic with some seriously great swordplay, a herky jerky plot and intermittent acting. Hayden Christensen is […]
Love, Rosie – It’s Heart Is In The Right Place!
Love, Rosie is the first English language film by German director Christian Ditter. It’s about a couple who have been friends since they were five and are clearly meant to be together but somehow never quite get it together.
Strangely, Strange Magic Is Not Really Magical!
The world could have used a great CG reimagining of William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream. What a shame this isn’t it. Still there are some good moments to be had from Strange Magic – Alan Cumming rocking out as the Bog King and Evan Rachel Ward flittering through several musical styles as Princess Marianne […]
Mortdecai Is Mostly Dead!
Once again, Johnny Depp shows his talent for slipping completely into a character. What a shame that this character is almost completely unnoteworthy. Mortdecai (the movie) wants to be a knowing send up of sixties caper movies, espionage thrillers and, possibly, the superb BBC series Lovejoy. Instead, it’s Johnny Depp plays the worst of Mr. […]
Paddington Is A Complete Delight!
It’s January – which means time for studios to dump all the crap they couldn’t release during the more competitive times of the year. But someone forgot to tell TWC-Dimension/eOne – they released what is almost certain to be a family classic this week: Paddington. Based on the children’s books by Michael Bone, Paddington is […]
The Boy Next Door: Just No!
There are a lot of talented people behind the making of The Boy Next Door. Somehow, despite their best efforts, we have the first truly awful movie of 2015. Think Fatal Attraction with the genders reversed. Now, take out the intelligence, the wit, any semblance of drama (and the steamy sex, for that matter) and […]
Blackhat – Cyberterrorism Thriller With Muscle!
The release of Universal’s Blackhat couldn’t be timelier. After all, if it’s so easy to crack open the cyber security at a major company like Sony, or a government website, might it not also be fairly simple to hack a nuclear reactor. Michael Mann’s new thriller posits attacks on a Chinese reactor and another on […]
Inherent Vice: Paul Thomas Anderson’s Psychedelic Mystery Tour!
Inherent Vice is a twisty mystery that fuses old school PI movies with the psychedelia of the late sixties and early seventies. The point of fusion is the lead character, Larry ‘Doc’ Sportello, a private eye who always – at a minimum – half baked (and usually full on stoned) but somehow manages to be […]
The Woman In Black 2: Angel of Death – Atmospheric and Creepy; Not Scary!
The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death is set forty years after the first film – when children were sent to the country to escape the dangers of the blitz in WWII London. Other than the house and the Woman in Black (though we never really see her clearly enough to even establish that) […]