When I saw these, I just had to laugh. Hope you find as many chuckles as I did…
These are by children ages 5 to 10.
The first date
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” — Mike, 10
“See if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” — John, age 9
The first kiss
“When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don’t get up for at least an hour.” — Wendy, age 8
“If it’s your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it’s a new person, you have to ask permission.” — Roger, age 6
“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That’s why I stopped doing it.” — Tammy, age 10
“I know one reason kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn’t always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses.” — Gina, age 8
“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” — Kally, age 9
It’s academic
“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” — Glenn, age 7
“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” — Tom, age 5
“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” — Regina, age 10
Watch out! Love can be painful
“Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” — John, age 9
“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” — Manuel, age 8
“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” — Kenny, age 7
“A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together.” — Marlon, age 10
No time for lovin’
“Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too.”
— Greg, age 8
“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘Dinosaurs’ is on television.”
— Jill, age 6
Reality bites
“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.”
— Ava, age 8
“When somebody’s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, ‘I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced.'” — Anita, 9
“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” — Jim, age 10
Ouch!
“Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one.”
— Angie, age 10
“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” — Christine, age 9
Flattery will get you everywhere!
“Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!” — Ricky, age 7
“Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.” — Erin, age 8
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.”
— Erin, age 8
Love and food
“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are–on fire.” — Christine, age 9
“Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love.” — Craig, age 9
“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” — Brad, age 8
“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” — Bart, age 9
Ah, the eternal optimist
“Love is foolish…but I still might try it sometime.” — Floyd, age 9
“You learn [how to kiss] right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.” — Doug, age 7