Here are some of this years and past years nominees for the prestigious Darwin Awards.
One of my favorites…
This young man presented himself to our Emergency Department covered with burns on all of
his exposed skin. His hair was singed close to his scalp. What caused these injuries? He had posed himself a question, and become overwhelmed by curiosity. Needing to discover the answer to his question (revealed soon) he proceeded to shoot a
propane tank with a .22 caliber rifle. Having survived the first stage of his stupidity, he gave the propane ten minutes to leak out, and then held a burning lighter and walked slowly towards the hissing propane tank.
The question was: How close do you have to be to the propane tank before it blows up? The answer: fifteen feet.
Another
(21 December 1992, North Carolina)
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Seriously I can’t help myself with this one..
(January 2002, Croatia) A Croatian was killed while trying to open a hand grenade with a chainsaw. He wanted to retrieve the explosive to make firecrackers for the New Years holiday
An oldie but a goodie. Be careful this is an urban legend (Aug 6 2002 – 01:04)
The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene. The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.
It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields. Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket. The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:
The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners. The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver’s remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a
piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading:
“How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT.”