Tuesday my heart was torn from my chest and tossed into the wood chipper by Crystal Chappell’s performance of Olivia Spencer’s tormented confession of her undying love for Natalia. Today I am unsuccessfully trying to recover from Wednesday’s episode, which picked up right where we left off Tuesday with Olivia and Natalia in the cemetery. Olivia once again professes her deep undying love for Natalia.
At this point Olivia is determined to finally speak the truth, finally say what has tormented and consumed her for so long. She realizes that once she verbalizes what she truly feels that she can never take it back, something that Natalia tries to remind her of and something Olivia is painfully aware of but needs to say it because this could be her last chance to, in her words, “set the record straight.” She’s not sure exactly when things changed but they most certainly did. They started out as rivals, became friends, hell, Natalia gave Olivia her dead husband’s heart! Somewhere between roommates and best friends they turned into a family. Natalia is Emma’s (Olivia’s daughter) other mommy. She and Olivia know each other so well they finish each other’s sentences. They love each other and in that moment you undoubtedly know it, you feel it, you believe it.
Natalia tries to express to Olivia the feelings that have raged inside of her, feelings that she has spend countless hours praying over asking God for his guidance. Jessica Leccia brings her A Game to this scene. You feel Natalia’s torment. She’s trying to tell Olivia that she feels the same and that she is prepared to fight whatever trouble comes their way. Unfortunately, in a surprising turn of events, Olivia stops Natalia from baring her soul. She realizes that the life that Frank can give Natalia is the easier choice, one of security and love and a home for her and Rafe. Olivia admits that she too could give Natalia a home but at what cost. They would all be subject to snide comments of small-minded people, people who would whisper behind their backs and break play dates with Emma or harass Rafe when he’s just about to start this new life. She doesn’t want that for Natalia. She couldn’t live with the pain it would cause Natalia…she lover her but “I don’t know what offering my love will do to you.” In this one statement I now have solid proof that in fact, Guiding Light is trying to kill me!
Just when you think you can’t take one more excruciating moment that your heart wouldn’t or couldn’t break any greater than it already has; the writers at Guiding Light decide to go for broke. Jill Lorie Hurst, what did I ever do to you? But I digress. Olivia and Natalia are standing there Olivia with her hands on Natalia’s tear drenched face, leaning in towards each other consumed by their mutual love and understanding that marrying Frank is the right thing to do for everyone involved. Olivia foolishly but with great self sacrifice and truest intentions tells Natalia “You know where you need to be and who you need to be with…we have a wedding to get to.” After that I blacked out which is a bad thing because I was reading the play-by-play at my desk at work and when you go limp and you hit the floor people tend to notice and make a big deal about it. It’s a little embarrassing but I guess since Guiding Light is actively trying to kill me, a little embarrassment isn’t such a big deal. Once the smelling salts kicked in and I got an ice pack for the giant lump growing on my head I went back to my desk and continued to read the play-by-play and subjected myself to further misery, pain, and sweet, sweet soap opera torturous angst that is Otalia, that is Guiding Light.
The show as a whole was on fire today. There were other scenes at church with Doris at the helm about to officiate since Father Ray backed out at the last minute and a touching scene between Rafe and Natalia where he tells her he lit a candle asking God to give his mother all that her heart desires which I loved. The rest is a little fuzzy, blacking out will do that, but I’m sure it was brilliant.
Now even though I suffered a mild concussion and once again feel the heartache and pain as if I had personally gone through a break up with the love of my life, I would do it again, black out and all, to experience the beauty and the love and the angst that only a group of gifted and talented artists like the group ofwriters, directors, actors, stagehands, Kraft services people and security guards, yes Moose, I’m talking to you, over at Guiding Light.
For a full play-by-play of the show, visit the Big Purple Dreams fan forum at 10 am EDT daily. For full episodes and more information about the show visit CBS.com and click on Guiding Light.
Final Grade: A+
