THIS…IS…AMERICAN IDOL! Season 9 auditions begin in Bean Town, Boston, Massachusetts. With the absence of Paul Abdul this year, celebrity judges will be filling in during the auditions, including, Shania Twain, Joe Jonas (don’t you need to be able to sing to judge and not just be from a pop band?), Kristin Chenoweth, Mary J. Blige, Katie Perry, Neil Patrick Harris, Avril Lavigne, and Victoria Beckham (don’t you need to be able to sing to judge and not just be from a pop band). We’ll see Ellen DeGeneres start her new gig during Hollywood Week.
Ryan promises in the voice over that each year the talent pool is bigger and better and we should be prepared for this year’s talent to blow us away. Ugh huh. Anyway, on with the show.
MINI-RECAP
*City: Boston
*Celebrity Judge: Victoria Beckham. Am I the only one who thinks she looks like a skeleton in a red dress?
*Number of Contestants: 9,000
*Name to Remember: ASHLEY RODRIGUEZ
*The One To Hate: ANDREW FENLON
*Most Heart Warming Story: KATIE STEVENS, grandmother has Alzheimer’s and she wants to succeed before grandmother forgets who she is.
*Simon Quote of the Night: “You sing like a 3-year-old girl. You dress like Latoya Jackson. You’ve got a beard. The whole thing was just too weird.”
Full Recap
The first contestant is JANET somebody or another. She thinks she should be the next American Idol b/c the Wii American Idol video game told her so, but she also confesses that she really didn’t start “singing good” until two years ago. Alrighty then. Did I mention she’s in a hot pink half shirt with a big role of belly fat hanging out? Oh yeah! She’s jumping up and down telling herself she is awesome so we automatically know she sucks. She starts singing, and yes, she does!!! She does suck, I mean. She also keeps referring to Kara as Paula. Four NOs. Why couldn’t we have started off with someone good??? Next.
And now a commercial break.
MATTY CURTIS, 16 – She has a heart-warming family story (two brothers with Downs Syndrome), so we know Matty is going to be pretty good. She sings “HALLAEUJIAH” by Leonard Cohen. YES!! Beautiful voice, nice control. Four YES votes. Hollywood, baby!
Then it’s PAT FORD, 17, from New Hampshire who dances like a spaz although he says he’s just really outgoing. He comes into the audition room and sings “Womanizer” by Britney Spears. Yeah, he’s a spaz. Randy tells him to stop singing. Next.
JENNIFER HIRSH, 22, NYC, sings a very jazzy version of “Ding Dong The Witch is Dead” and she’s pretty darn good. Yes to Hollywood.
CLAIRE FULLER, 23, Philly… sings “Be With You” and rocks it. Hollywood.
JESS WOLFE, Brooklyn, 24 – I have no idea what she sang, but it was really good. On to Hollywood.
No guys yet though, but Ryan promises they are coming…some good and many bad.
COMERCIAL BREAK
We meet AMADEO DIRICCO, 28, Providence, RI – We meet his large Italian family so you know what that means. He sings well. And he does. He sings “Hoochy Coochy Man.” Very powerful voice and very humble. Simon loves his voice and his energy. He’s the first Boston guy off to Hollywood. He and his family then accost Ryan outside with the good news; a lot of testosterone in that family.
We then meet DERRICK HILTON, 22, Bellingham, MA. Derrick tells us in his pre-interview that he started “graditating” toward music after long spiritual, nature walks. I’m sure Derrick is a nice guy, but where is Carson Kressley when you need him. This dude needs a makeover like no one else. He says he’s been working on his voice and his vocals “so hard.” Yeah, that’s code for he’s really gonna be bad. He promises if he makes it to Hollywood that he will “touch numerous amounts of people.” WHAT? Anyhow, Derrick opens his mouth and I wish he hadn’t. He sounds like he’s singing through his nose. Well, one of his voices does. He seems to be channeling several voices while singing. Must be all those nature walks. At least we know “numerous amounts of people” are safe from being touched.
We see several back to back rejections of people who apparently aren’t important enough to meet.
And then the tease… apparently Kara goes head to head with a guy she says “I don’t like.”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
We meet an anime’ freak. She shows off her karate moves too and her handmaid kimonos. This is still a singing competition, right? MERE DOYLE (pronounced Mary), 24 from someplace…doesn’t matter b/c we already know she’s going to be bad. She announces she’s singing Janice Joplin. Ugh huh. She sings. We cringe. Simon tells her the singing was “verging on terrible” and she seems genuinely shocked by that. She says she’s had 2 voice coaches over the last 14 years. Somebody took Mary for a ride. I mean, Mere. Next.
LUKE SHAFFER, 24, NYC – has a grunge thing going on, but the boy has mad skills. Great voice and he sails on to Hollywood.
BENJAMIN BRIGHT, 24, Rome, NY – another guy with a great, smooth voice. He too sails on.
ANDREW FENLON, 25, Boston – In my nine years of watching this show I don’t think I have ever seen someone with such a giant chip on their shoulder. He is the definition of the word that rhymes with grass bowl. He’s extremely cocky and he hasn’t even sung yet. I hope he’s bad b/c there is no way they can put him through. YES. HE’S BAD! HA! The judges question him as to why he has such an attitude and he doesn’t think he does. He says he’s just tired from waiting all day. Kara, Vickers and Randy say NO. Simon, of course, says, “I would have said YES” and laughs. Gotta love Simon. Then the dude comes out and tells Ryan that Simon and Randy liked him, but the ladies didn’t. Man, what room were you just in???
They tease us with some incredible voices to come including one who came back from cancer. You know he’s gonna be good.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Video set up of all the great music training programs in Boston, so we know some bad voices are coming.
Bad voice #1 – BILL BLOOM, 26 Marlboro, MA – QUIT SHOUTING AT ME!
Bad Voice #2 – MICHAEL RYAN, 18, Braintree, MA – musical theater major. He’s gonna fail, ya’ll.
We then meet the beautiful, gorgeous and very humble ASHLEY RODRIGUEZ, 21, Boston. I already know she is going to rock it. She sings the Alicia Keys hit, “If I Aint Got You.” For the first time, I get chills. This young woman is going places. Look for her in the TOP 20 and probably TOP 10. You saw it here first. Simon goes on to say, “Some people have got it and I think you may have IT.” Simon is so right on this one.
After that astounding performance, we meet TYLER GRADY, 19, Nazareth, PA. He’s dancing like a goofball and explains that he broke both his wrists b/c he was climbing a tree and fell out. He’s also dressed like one of the front men for ABBA. So imagine my great surprise when Tyler can sing! Damn, he’s good. He’s also really nice. I judged a book by its cover. Sorry, Tyler. See you in Hollywood.
We then see a montage of other people going to Hollywood but apparently we don’t need to know their names. Oh well.
DAY 1 in Boston ends. We get teased with people who have attitudes, but do they have voices to back it up? Ryan also says there is a 16 year old we have to hear to believe. We’ll see.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Day 2 Boston
LISA OLIVERO, 24, Billerica, MA — I am not quite where this audition will go. There is a nice little set-up piece for Lisa, but something tells me she’s gonna bomb. Oh yeah, it’s when she says she’s singing Mariah Carey’s “Vision of Love.” Anyone who can sing would never attempt that song. Lisa does and oh man, my ears are still bleeding. Next.
RYAN KEENE, 26, Waterbury, CT – he sang “Ring of Fire” and I think I want to push him into one after that version. Ugh. Next.
MIKE DAVIS, 18, Boston, MA – We go with Mike to his job on something called CODZILLA so I am thinking this could go either way. He’s on the job, but we don’t see his family…hmmm? Mike sings The Beattle’s “Yesterday.” Wow! Smooth voice. Great tone. He easily moves on to Hollywood. Simon says Yes and walks off because he’s tired of Kara flirting with Mike. Randy says No and he too walks off ready for a break. But then we cut to outside the door and Mike comes out with that Golden ticket. He’s the first person to get one on Day 2.
Time for a commercial break where we learn that Boston turns on Simon and still come is some amazing talent. Kara tells one lucky contestant, “You really are the best we have seen.”
COMMERICAL BREAK
KATIE STEVENS, 16, Middlebury, CT – we meet her family so we know what that means!!! Katie’s grandmother has Alzheimers so she wants to succeed before her grandmother forgets who she is. Awwww. I recognize Katie from the tease as the 16 year old with the incredible voice we have to hear. I’m ready. She sings Etta James’ “At Last.” WOW! WOW! WOW! Very nice voice. I think her entire family greets her outside. She calls her grandmother to share the news.
JOSHUA BLAYLOCK, NYC, 28 – his last year to audition. He has a nice voice, but simon calls him forgettable. Who was I talking about? Oh yeah, Josh. Anyhow, he gets four YES votes and he’s off to Hollywood.
Ryan teases cancer boy… this is the second tease so you know he can sing! Bring him on.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
A series of bad auditions…very bad auditions and then Cancer Boy… Justin Williams
JUSTIN WILLIAMS, 27, Sandy, UT – He’s from Utah and he says he was on a mission in Spain when he was diagnosed with cancer. They never tell us what kind of cancer it was. That’s not fair. Anyhow, Justin sings and he is as good as I expected him to be. He has a very Michael Buble’ kind of voice. He easily gets four YES votes and moves on to Hollywood.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
NORBERTO GUERRERO, 18, Reading, PA – Norberto is one of those contestants that producers will be showing on IDOL year after year. He is everything you DON’T want to be in an Idol contestant. Odd hair. Big stud earrings. Bizarre clothes. Bad skin. Horrible voice. Oh, Norberto. He really looks like what you would expect Andy Sandberg to look like if SNL were doing a skit on American Idol. Simon’s Critique: “You sing like a 3-year-old girl. You dress like Latoya Jackson. You’ve got a beard. The whole thing was just too weird.”
BOSA MORA, 22, Columbus, OH– from Nigeria (rather his parents are). We meet his family: mom, dad, six sisters and one brother. So you know what that means? He can indeed sing, but he doesn’t pop for me with his audition and Simon backs me up with “Good, but boring.” But the others liked him, so Bosa goes to Hollywood. He’ll get cut during Hollywood week. He just doesn’t have the personality of a star. Maybe that’s a good thing.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
LEAH LAURENTI, 22, Bedford, NY – last audition of the day and we learn about Leah’s family…so again, we know she can sing. She sings “Blue Skies” and wow does she blow it away. Amazing voice. WOW! She can record today. She has a very old school voice. Randy likes her tone and voice control. Kara calls her a really good singer and one of the best they have seen. Four YES votes and off to Hollywood Leah goes!
That’s the end of Boston. NEXT UP… ATLANTA!
Until then… MENDHEIM OUT!