For a movie that came about because of fan reaction to a faux trailer that part of the full package of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse. The story – a Mexican federale named Machete and his partner attempt to rescue a kidnapping victim but it’s a trap, and the corrupt cop kills his wife and daughter. Three years later, in Texas – a corrupt politician’s equally corrupt top advisor hires Machete to shoot the politician but it’s a set-up and Machete is out for revenge – is typical B-movie fodder, but Rodriguez and Danny Trejo [as Machete] capture the extreme violence and savage wit of the best ‘60s and ‘70s exploitation flicks.
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Grade: B
Tags:
20th Century Fox Home Entertainment,
Cheech Marin,
Danny Trejo,
Don Johnson,
Jeff Fahey,
Jessica Alba,
Machete,
Michelle Rodriguez,
Robert De Niro,
Robert Rodriguez
If you love exploitation flicks, there’s a very good chance you’ll revel in Machete. It’s got an iconic hero, gunfights, fist fights, sword fights, missiles, Gatling guns, some very impressive lo-riders, evil villains, hot women and more blood guts and veins in one’s teeth than any movie in recent memory – at least one that wasn’t a pointless horror/slasher flick with no plot.
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Grade: B+
Tags:
20th Century Fox,
Danny Trejo,
Jeff Fahey,
Jessica Alba,
Michelle Rodriguez,
Robert DeNiro,
Robert Rodriguez
Robert Rodriguez is pulling together quite an impressive cast for his upcoming Machete Flick. Announced today, Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson and Steven Seagal join Danny Trejo in the Highly Anticipated Spin-off Action Flick, MACHETE. The official press release is after the break.
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Tags:
Jessica Alba,
Lindsey Lohan,
Michelle Rodriguez,
Movies,
Robert Rodriguez
Imagine the sound of one hand clapping. Not in the Zen koan way, but in the actual one hand impacting on nothing but air way. This was the sound that accompanied eighty-five of The Love Guru’s ninety-one minutes at the screening I attended – and another four minutes were closing credits.
In a nutshell: Toronto Maple Leafs owner Jane Bullard [Jessica Alba] hires the number two self-help guru in the world, Guru Pitka [Mike Myers] to help her team’s superstar, Darren Roanoke [Romany Malco] get his mojo back after his girlfriend leaves him for the Jacque Grande [Justin Timberlake], goalie of the Leafs’ Stanley Cup opponents, the Los Angeles King.
Myers performance is smarmy and self-indulgent; Alba is her usual wooden self and virtually no is funny. In the course of the film, I laughed six times – two because of actual humor and four because if the sheer awfulness of the attempts at humor. That was four more times than the group of fifteen-year olds [allegedly the film’s targeted audience]. Otherwise, the theater was silent.
Writing, acting, cinematography, directing – all pretty much suck. The only things preventing The Love Guru from being the worst movie I’ve seen in the last few years would be Norbit and Delta Farce. The Love Guru makes The Cat in the Hat look like Shakespeare. You have been warned.
Final Grade: D-
Tags:
Comedy,
Deepak Chopra,
Jessica Alba,
Justin Timberlake,
Michael Myers,
Paramount Pictures
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