Today: 22 May 2013

Transformers: Revenge of the Bratty Kids with Inept Parents!

Posted by   on June 25, 2009 · 14 comments

in Movies

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Ok, before I start my rambling, incoherent review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, let’s start with a PSA Announcement. (In my Voiceover voice) Parents, if you don’t know how to control your kids in public, KEEP THEM AT HOME!! God, one of these days, I’m going to get into fisticuffs with these bad, annoying movie goers. But there’s nothing worse than a Parent who won’t control their freaking kids. I swear there was this kid who was talking at the top of his lungs through the ENTIRE movie. It was driving me mad.

One woman got up and left in the beginning of the movie saying “I can’t take this anymore” and yelled at the woman learn to control your kid. Then about a 1 1/2 in, I snapped and yelled at the woman to keep her Kid quiet. Her response almost sent me over the edge, what was it you kind readers ask? “I already asked him to be quiet. He’s 4 years old, what do you expect me to do?” What kind of response could I have to that? It’s called freaking DISCIPLINE! Take the brat out of the theater! Go home! Of course I didn’t say these things, but I desperately wanted to. At first she threatened to take the kid out of the theater and he was like, “No, no… I want to stay.” So of course she did NOTHING, I HATE parents who refuse to control their devil spawn in public. I think we act as enablers for these bad parents, because we are all too scared to say anything. If more people speak up, maybe, in my dream world these parents would get the message that people will no longer put up with these monsters.

This could be a testament to how much I was determined to sit through Director Michael Bay’s latest explosion filled summer blockbuster, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. I’m not even sure why, I felt so spiteful that for once I refused to be run out of a theater by an irresponsible parent and her devil spawn. But this was the movie I decided to make my stand, raise my fist and said, NO, I will not be cowed. I will not run out of the theater, angry and frustrated. I will sit in my seat and stew in my juices. Steam was coming out of my ears.

Ok, so I’m sure you are tired of my rant by now and are asking what about the movie you spastic Tard!? I don’t know, I liked it, thought it got better as it went along, but the first act was about the worst thing that I’ve ever seen it was horrible. Especially the really ridiculous prologue, however, I thought Bay did a good job with the more human elements of the film. Yes it was cliche’d, but I really liked the dynamic between all the humans, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) his girlfriend Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox) and his new college roommate Leo (Ramon Rodriguez). Loved the relationship the Marines had with their Autobot comrades. The movie falls apart because of the Transformers themselves. Namely, these two “twin” Robots that were about as “racially” insensitive (I’m being kind here) as you can get without having two white guys dress in black face and pretend to be hip-hop. It was just horrible and incredibly offensive.

This movie is all about the Robot fights and big explosions. Bay of course blows things up like no other and his pyrotechnic love is on full display as he blows up stuff, just to do it. I love that he actually takes all the battles seriously and that people actually die when ships get blown up and sunk, that soldiers against giant robots, the soldiers are going to lose. So other than the hideous twin Robots, the tone of the film felt just about right. I still didn’t like any of the Robot fights. It was hard to tell what was going on, who was an Autobot or Decepticon, therefore other than a couple of key moments it was difficult to root for anyone.

I hated the first movie, so I had no hope that I would like this, the horrible first act and talking kid made this a struggle to sit through. But a funny thing happened, the movie sucked me in and I ended up having a decent time despite the blatant racist robots (three words I’d never thought I’d write), maybe it’s because I wasn’t able to pay full attention to the movie because of the damn kid who I know will grow into being a future spoiled asshat.

Final Grade B-

EM Review by

Michelle Alexandria
Originally Posted 6.24.09

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  • Mat Rex

    I knew someone would pull the race card on the twins. They were robots who were like teenagers. I have seen and heard a lot of teenagers in today's society that are Caucasian, African American, Mexican, Indian, etc…. (You get the idea) that talk ghetto. Just because someone speaks in a "ghetto" manner everyone assumes it was a shot against African Americans, get over it seriously. The Ghetto exists, Ebonics exists, poor people exists, non-educated punks exist….and guess what? Everyone has them! To call is offensive, I'd have to say you're being exactly what Skids and Mudflap called the guy in the movie….a pussy.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/heiresschild heiresschild

    i wouldn't even have said anything to the mother; i would have simply gotten up, gone out to the manager, and either the manager would have asked them to leave if she couldn't control her child, or i would have asked for a refund or pass for another show time. that's probably what the lady did who left saying she couldn't take it anymore—asked for a refund. if the child was that rambucntious, people would have missed hearing parts, which would have taken away from the movie. glad it was you, and not me 'cause mom would have had to leave.

    i fell asleep when i saw the 1st Transformers, woke up, and it was still going on (and i never fall asleep at the movies). i'll be going to see this one though, and hopefully stay awake for the whole movie.

    • Moishe

      Save yourself the trouble. Everything that put you to sleep in the first one is back and doubled in this one.

    • Rainman

      If you fell asleep during the first one, why on earth would you see the second one??

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/malexandria malexandria

        because the dream was probably good. the dream man, the dream!

  • Nick H

    I've dealt with loud kids in movies. All you gotta do is tell them to be quiet. If that doesn't work go get a manager and have them kicked out. I work at a movie theatre so it's easier for me to kick out loud movie watchers. I really hate loud people in theatres.

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/S_Wiebe S_Wiebe

    I can't believe that you liked Revenge even a little bit. It was even worse [and much louder] than Year One – a cinch for many Razzie nominations.

    Mat Rex: the reason that Michelle saw the twins as a black stereotype wasn't just their hip-hop patter – it was the voices and accents, both of which have been Hollywood shorthand for "dumb black kids" for practically ever. That's a very specific voice. The only reason I didn't mention it my review was that there was so much wrong with the movie that I just couldn't get everything in or my review would have been three times as lon as it was – plus, I knew Michelle would pick up on it, too.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/malexandria malexandria

    Not to mention one of them had a f'ing Gold tooth! And then they made them dumb and can't read. It was over the top racist. And I'm not one who sees racism in everything. At one point while writing the review I was going to go into is it really "racists," or are we being racist ourselves for automatically ascribing this type of crap to black people.

  • the truth

    maybe these stupid people should learn how to read then and take the bling out of their mouth. you cant blame high society for laughing at these clowns. me and my wife laughed our a****es of at the twins everytime they were on screen.

  • tgillium

    I also thought the twin were extremely racist… they had african american facial features!

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  • sharp

    Worst written review I've ever read… I seriously hope that your other reviews refrain from drastic amounts of capital letters, the word "freaking," and hypocrisies such as calling yourself a "tard" and then saying that the whole "twin robots" concept was offensive. Seriously reconsider your career, please.

  • Mark

    My girlfriend is African-American and had NO, ZERO, problem with the twins. She has in the past, stopped watching a movie or show that she thought was racially offensive. She told me before the movie started if she was offended she would leave. She was shocked after watching the movie that it was being made out to be an issue. Granted she didnt like the movie, but she had no issue with the twins at all and in fact thought they were funny. I think its time for white movie critics to stop trying to tell the rest of us what is racially offensive and what isnt. Epsecially if you arent even of the race in question. Make sense ?

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