Signs

SIGNS

1. Over a gynaecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

2. On a plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”

3. On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

4. Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak.”

5. Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

6. In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

7. Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “We can help you pick your nose!”

8. On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”

9. In a non-smoking area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

10. On a maternity room door: “Push. Push. Push.”

11. At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

12. In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

Updated: September 10, 2002 — 6:26 pm