Prometheus is no Pirahna 3D! Michelle’s Review!

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Director Ridley Scott‘s name instantly inspires awe and wonder in many filmgoers’ minds. I had the amazing experience of meeting the man and watching him direct an episode of his hit TV Show Numbers. With that said, I think I must have been the only one who wasn’t particularly excited when he announced that he was returning to the world that he made his bones on – Aliens.  Maybe its because, I know its blasphemous to admit it, but I have never been a big fan of the Alien franchise.

Sure as a franchise there are some truly great and unforgettable moments. Technically they are brilliantly made films (at least the first two). But I just never liked the world he created, I felt them to be very cold, analytical, and sort of pretentious. But then that is the whole point of the dystopian view of the future. I’m just not a fan of dark, bleak, sci-fi stories.

Now we have Prometheus a movie that is set in the Aliens universe, but not really.  There are a lot of similarities in terms of look, feel, tone, but the connection that fans may be looking for really don’t seem like its there. You can watch this movie without knowing anything about the Aliens world. It has been awhile since I watched my Aliens Blu-ray collection, so I walked into this sort of “cold.”

Prometheus Movie Review

While intensely watchable and at times actually engrossing about halfway through this exercise the sinking feeling of pointlessness sets in. The movie asks “big” questions, or at least claim to be, but it is more shallow pop psychology.  “What would you do if you could meet god and ask him why he created you?”  Ok. Yeah, and?  The movie just poses the question, but there really is no debate about what would be asked or how it would impact the person asking.

There are a lot of plot points that are brought up and things done to add tension. We get numerous scenes of things going bump in the night but the Scott and former Lost writer Damon Lindelof do not feel a need to explain or show what anything is. Eventually it felt like I was watching one big, overlong tease. There are long stretches where nothing seems to be happening, just people walking around a colorless cave or ship.

In terms of Alien tropes, we do have the standard birthing scene, this time the Alien bursts out of Girl With a Dragon Tattoo’s Noomi Rapace.  She is Elizabeth Shaw one of the Drs. that dreamed up this crazy idea that an Alien race. Her performance is fine, but she didn’t have the same gravitas, nor the intensity, Sigourney Weaver had.

Michael Fassbender was really good at the Dave the Robot. I loved some of his reactions to being called emotionless; it was a fine nuanced performance. However I couldn’t get passed the fact that he looks just like my favorite actor – Ewan McGregor.

Idris Elba and Charlize Theron (who I generally don’t like) are ok in this but the movie does not give them much to do. The rest of the crew felt like they were tacked on and meant to be canon fodder to Aliens that never really materializes. There is a ridiculous moment when two crew members – one of the guys looked strangely like the WWE Wrestler Shamus, see something that scares them. Instead of sticking with the rest of the team and investigate, they do the smart thing get the heck out of there. Only problem is, they get lost. Are you kidding me, with all the tech in their space suits, they get lost? The entire sequence felt contrived.

The 3D for a change does not hurt the movie. I still do not buy into the B.S. that 3D is only good for “depth.” I want my 3D to pop out at me and be over the top like Piranha 3D or the Final Destination movies, I don’t want pointless “depth.” The opening sequence, which is incredibly stupid and actually pointless, is beautifully filmed in 3D. The first time we get a full shot of the Prometheus is awe inducing, but these nice 3D moments are few and far between.

As someone who isn’t a fan of the Alien franchise, Prometheus feels like a competent, but pale imitation of those far superior films.

26 thoughts on “Prometheus is no Pirahna 3D! Michelle’s Review!”

  1. You really need to include spoiler alerts (or not include those plot points in a review like this)

    1. First of all it is one of the biggest movies of the summer, so of course Im going to see it. Second, I didnt hate the Alien movies, it just wasnt for me. Third, if this movie was good or great I would have liked it regardless of how I feel about the subject matter – ie, Blade Runner, Planet of the Apes, etc..

      1. ” I’m just not a fan of dark, bleak, sci-fi stories.”   Nobody accused you of “hating” the Alien movies.  The problem is that you give the impression that your dislike of this movie is inevitable due to your dislike for the genre in general.  If that’s the case, why should anyone care to read your opinion on it?  This review and your apparent ignorance are honestly offensive to me. You should note that the comments on here and on rotten tomatoes regarding your review are in near unanimous agreement on this.

        1. In every review I write I try and tell you wheremmy bias is in the beginning. If you choose to continue to read that is on you. We all have our general likes and dislikes, if a movie is good then it is good. I don’t have to see every movie so the ones I do review I walk in with a reasonable expectation that I will like it despite minor reservations. Perhaps I wasnt clear, I dont dislike the Alien movies, I just dont go gaga over them like everyone else and generally, no, I dont like bleak movies, I go to escape and enjoy myself.

          1. Nothing wrong with that, i like escapism myself. Some films are geared to make you sit back and think more, and some films are geared to just blow you away with awesome spectacle, when done correctly, both can be absolutely great in their own way.

            ________________________________
            From: Disqus
            To: fbrooks69@yahoo.com
            Sent: Sunday, June 10, 2012 2:44 AM
            Subject: [eclipsemagazinecom] Re: Prometheus is no Pirahna 3D! Michelle’s Review!

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            malexandria wrote, in response to lrkr:
            In every review I write I try and tell you wheremmy bias is in the beginning. If you choose to continue to read that is on you. We all have our general likes and dislikes, if a movie is good then it is good. I don’t have to see every movie so the ones I do review I walk in with a reasonable expectation that I will like it despite minor reservations. Perhaps I wasnt clear, I dont dislike the Alien movies, I just dont go gaga over them like everyone else and generally, no, I dont like bleak movies, I go to escape and enjoy myself. Link to comment

          2. Well there is the rub. I don’t go to movies to think. But when a movie expects that of me then I’m going to inevitably hold it to a “higher” standard,because it holds itself up higher. I’m not saying Prometheus was garbage or anything, just that I didn not like it.

          3. I understand, i’ll know how i feel about the film once i see it tuesday. When i saw “The Avengers” that absolutely blew me away, such a fantastic film, i believe that’s the epitome of what you mean when going to the cinema to have the ultimate viewers experience. When i go to the movies myself, i don’t go to over think, trying to figure things out, i go to enjoy myself and hopefully have a great movie going experience. I pay to be entertained, plain and simple haha.

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            From: Disqus
            To: fbrooks69@yahoo.com
            Sent: Sunday, June 10, 2012 3:46 AM
            Subject: [eclipsemagazinecom] Re: Prometheus is no Pirahna 3D! Michelle’s Review!

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            malexandria wrote, in response to Fred Brooks:
            Well there is the rub. I don’t go to movies to think. But when a movie expects that of me then I’m going to inevitably hold it to a “higher” standard,because it holds itself up higher. I’m not saying Prometheus was garbage or anything, just that I didn not like it. Link to comment

  2. …Awful review.

    And I quote:
     
    ” I’m just not a fan of dark, bleak, sci-fi stories.” -A biased review is not a review at all, by definition. That makes it a commentary. We’re not here to read about you, we’re here to read about a film.

    “The movie asks “big” questions, or at least claim to be, but it is more
    shallow pop psychology.  “What would you do if you could meet god and
    ask him why he created you?”  Ok. Yeah, and?  The movie just poses the
    question, but there really is no debate about what would be asked or how
    it would impact the person asking.” 

    -It does, if you recall. (spoiler alert) An android asks a human why he was made, in response to the questions being posed.  The human responds “because we could.” The android, in turn, asks ‘wouldn’t it be horrible if that is the answer that you discover here’? The questions being posed here, (with the references to the cross, and even flatly stated at points) are thus: “What if God isn’t real? What if religion dosen’t exist? What if, in fact, we were created by something that, not only doesn’t care about us, but is horrible and would end us at a moment’s notice? What does that make life worth? It’s a very lovecraftian theme, which has been in popular media for a few decades now…  But as not-a-fan, it’s doubtful you’d get the references. Despite the tentacles.

    ” She is Elizabeth Shaw one of the Drs. that dreamed up this crazy idea that an Alien race.”
    -This is not even a complete sentence, let alone a complete thought. Proofread your work, please.

    1. “because we could” – and that for you is a good enough reason to first create the species and then decide to try and wipe it out completely and carry the film’s plot?  The engineer being the same dna as humans, seems to shrug off 2,000 years of stasis and carry on with the plan.  You’d think he would have stopped and asked “who the hell are you lot?  Where are all my engineering buddies who put me in this pod?  Because clearly I didn’t put myself in here”

  3. I don’t know how this “review” was even published.  It’s just a bunch of plot spoilers linked together by the author’s entirely subjective opinions of the actors/actresses in the movie.  If you’re going to spoil several major events in a movie, at least analyze them in the most objective manner possible.  From this so-called-review, all I get is that the author likes or dislikes certain actors/actresses, has a prejudice against certain genres of movies, and seems to enjoy mindless things popping out in 3D.  On that note, I can’t help but quote this line “I want my 3D to pop out at me and be over the top like Piranha 3D or the Final Destination movies, I don’t want pointless “depth.””

    1. Yes, I do. If I have to put up with crappy 3D then I want the full come at you gimmick. I don’t want shitty “depth” if it makes the movie dark and completly distorts the image quality. Not to mention most of today’s theater projections can barely focus a film 3d has ruined films. At least Piranha 3d was fun and used 3d in a fun manner. Now I havent seen 3dd so cant comment on that one.

    2. Subjective opinions?  I know, he should totally review this movie with someone elses opinions instead.  Since you obviously think the world revolves around your opinions, perhaps he could borrow yours?  🙂

  4. Since people on Rt love to bring up unrelated past reviews when arguing a point I will compare all movies this summer to Piranha 3D! 🙂 I may be kidding, who knows? Grins evily….

    1. You have a great sense of humor. It takes a strong person who can take shots from people and not be afrraid to respond. I’m going to see “Prometheus” in two days, and i’ll be my own judge of the film as well.

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      Sent: Sunday, June 10, 2012 3:50 AM
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  5. What website is this? Where might I inquire as to how to gain employment? I’m assuming it takes absolutely no talent or credentials or even the ability to know when to use commas in a sentence in order to write reviews for this website, so I think it would be rather liberating to churn out a page of unenlightened, unintelligent, unreadable crap with the prize quality of an 8th grader’s “How I Spent My Summer” report, all the while given both a paycheck and an audience. Bravo, indeed.

  6. Wait. Shit. I may have to retract my previous comment. I’ve been trolled, haven’t I? There’s simply no possible way someone could swap the name “Robert” for the word “robot” and not be trolling. This is a fake review, isn’t it?

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