Behind enemy lines

hey have you all read/heard about this yet?

Lawsuit Flies “Behind Enemy Lines”
Tuesday August 20 9:00 PM ET

Admit it, you’d probably be suing mad, too, if you were played on screen by Owen Wilson.

Such is the case with Scott O’Grady, who is firing back at Behind Enemy Lines.

The straight-laced U.S Air Force pilot, who became a national hero in 1995 after he survived being shot down over war-torn Bosnia, is suing 20th Century Fox for producting the 2001 movie starring Wilson as a reckless, profane Navy pilot shot down over war torn-Bosnia.

O’Grady figures that Behind Enemy Lines was a thinly veiled, barely fictionalized account of his own travails. He claims the studio profited from his story without attempting to secure proper rights. And, perhaps worst of all, he alleges that Wilson’s depiction of the downed pilot damages the commercial value of O’Grady’s name and identity.

“Captain O’Grady was also troubled that the ‘hero’ in the Fox movie used foul language, was portrayed as a ‘hot dog’ type pilot, and disobeyed orders, unlike O’Grady,” grouses the complaint, filed in federal district court in Texarkana, Texas.

O’Grady, 36, who left the military earlier this year and is studying for a master’s degree in theology, is also going after the Discovery Channel, which produced a documentary about his ordeal titled Behind Enemy Lines: The Scott O’Grady Story. He alleges the cable network aired the program repeatedly from 1998 to 2001, backed by sponsorship from Fox as a way of promoting the movie.

O’Grady’s F-16 was hit by a missile when he was patrolling a NATO ( news – web sites) no-fly zone over Bosnia as part of the UN’s peacekeeping mission. He spent six days hiding from Serb forces, subsisting on leaves and ants, before being rescued by the U.S. Marines. He authored the best-selling book Return With Honor and also recounted the ordeal in the children’s book Basher Five-Two. He also makes the rounds on the motivational-speech circuit, using his adventure as his main riff.

“I was shot down, hunted, shot at–but that was the most positive experience of my life. There were three things that kept me going: faith, my family and my country,” O’Grady stated in a 1998 commencement address at West Virginia University.

Last year, O’Grady told Entertainment Tonight that he had seen Behind Enemy Lines, and “it’s not my story.” He stressed he didn’t collaborate with the filmmakers.

But reporters and reviewers, most of whom panned Behind Enemy Lines, made constant mention of the unrealistic rah-rah action flick’s apparent links to O’Grady’s real-life adventure–using such phrasing as “pretends to be,” “loosely based true adventure,” “inspired by the true story,” “based on the facts of,” etc.

While O’Grady didn’t cooperate, the military did, supplying the F/A Hornet flown by Wilson (whose character was named Lieutenant Chris Burnett) and the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson, commanded in the film by Gene Hackman. The military also allowed Fox to hold the film’s premiere on the USS Nimitz in San Diego and screened it for the troops at several other bases.

Rushed into theaters early to capitalize on the country’s post 9-11 military mood the R-rated movie opened in second place in November 2001 and grossed about $56 million theatrically. The video and DVD were released in April.

O’Grady’s lawsuit charges invasion of privacy through the misappropriation of his name, likeness and identity, false representation and false advertising, unjust enrichment and civil conspiracy and seeks all the movie and television show profits, triple damages, legal fees and “an additional amount the court considers just.”

The studio and the cable network, as well as their respective parent divisions, 20th Century Fox Film Corp. and Discovery Communications, have so far declined comment on the suit.


These were taken off of actual tombstones… 😛

~ Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna

~ Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange

~ Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.

~ Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

~ Russell J. Larsen
Two things I love most,
good horses and beautiful women,
And when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine
and make it into a ladies riding saddle,
So I can rest in peace
between the two things I love

~ In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

~ When the great judgement day arrives
and Joshua Fenton Newton does not emerge from this hole,
you will know that someone made a mistake
and buried me in the wrong hole.

~ To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot 4th April 1844
As a mark of affection from his brother.

~ She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.

~ Here lies my wife:
Here let her lie!
Now she’s at rest
And so am I.

~ Here Lies Mary Smith
Silent At Last

The Good Old Days….

Rules and Regulations
By Geiger, 1872

Office employees will daily sweep the floors, dust the furniture, shelves, and showcases.

Each day fill lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks. Wash the windows once a week.

Each clerk will bring in a bucket of water and a scuttle of coal for the day’s business.

Make your pens carefully. You may whittle nibs to your individual taste.

This office will open at 7 a.m. and close at 8 p. m. daily except on the Sabbath, on which day it will remain closed.

Men employees will be given an evening off each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go regularly to church.

Every employee should lay aside from each pay a goodly sum of his earnings for his benefits during his declining, so that he will not become a burden upon the charity of his betters.

Any employee who smokes Spanish cigars, uses liquor in any form, gets shaved at a barber shop, or frequents pool or public halls will give a good reason to suspect his worth, intentions, integrity and honesty.

The employee who has performed his labor faithfully and without faults for a period of five years in my service and who has been thrifty and attentive to his religious duties and is looked upon by his fellow men as a substantial and law-abiding citizen will be given an increase of five cents per day, providing a just return of profits from the business permits it.

And you thought the rules of today’s workplaces were tough! 😛

Different Races

Different Races
(no offense to anyone!)

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule as to when they alternate with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two Englishmen are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer, and how her relationship with her mother is improving.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

The two Australian men beat each other senseless for the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men, after calling them both “bloody wankers”.

Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.

The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and set up a distillery. After the first few litre’s of coconut whiskey they do not remember if sex is in the picture, but they are satisfied that at least the English are not getting any.

The Scariest Movie Monster

WHO Is the Scariest Movie Monster Ever?
By Cathryn Conroy, Netscape News Editor

Dracula. The Lord of the Undead has been rated as the scariest and most compelling movie monster by fans young and old in a nationwide survey that tried to find out what scares us the most and why. “What we found was that people are attracted to monsters who are intelligent and have super powers, but also monsters who can perform on screen with the kind of evil and lack of inhibition that we just can’t do in real life,” researcher Dr. Steven Fischoff of California State University in Los Angeles told Reuters.

The team surveyed almost 1,200 Americans who were 16 to 91 years old. Coming in behind Dracula are berserk killer Freddy Krueger, Godzilla, Frankenstein, and the less-than-cuddly demon-doll, Chucky. But when it comes to being scared, there’s a generation gap. Older folks are more attracted to the classic monsters who only kill for survival, fear, or revenge. But the youngins’ like their monsters to be violent and bloodthirsty slasher-murderers. Why? Young people think they are immortal so senseless violence doesn’t hit them personally. Older folks realize that life is not limitless and killing-machine monsters can seem like a personal threat. But why do we LIKE to be scared? Says Fischoff, “…because it’s something that is out of the ordinary in our experience. Most of us live in somewhat insulated lives, we don’t have extreme ups and downs. And the pleasure in being scared is in knowing that it will stop. It’s a safe scariness. You can close your eyes, turn off the television–its like going on a roller coaster–you get the adrenaline rush, but you know it’s going to end.”

doctor’s stories…

these were e-mailed to me…enjoy

A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s
going to have her baby in the cab!” I grabbed my
stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a
stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female
patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I
instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsed the

Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when
I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive
myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes
later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the
family that he had died of a “massive internal

Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

I was performing a complete physical, including
the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty
feet from the chart and began, “Cover your right eye with your hand.” He read the 20/20 line
perfectly. “Now your left.” Again, a flawless
read. “Now both,” I requested. There was silence. He couldn’t even read the large E on the top line. I
turned and discovered that he had done exactly whatII had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

During a patient’s two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me,
his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of
his medications. “Which one?” I asked.

“The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new
one every six hours and now I’m running out of
places to put it!” I had him quickly undress and
discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see… Yes, the
man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
instructions include removal of the old patch before
applying a new one.

Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly
patient, I asked, “How long have you been
bedridden?” After a look of complete confusion she
> > > answered… “Why, not for about twenty years-when my
> > > husband was alive.”
> > >
> > > Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and
asked, “So how’s your breakfast this morning?” “It’s
> > > very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t
> > > seem to get used to the taste,” the patient replied.
> > > I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced
> > > a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.”
> > >
> > > Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
> > >
> > > A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when
> > > a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk
> > > rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and
> > > wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
> > > determined that the patient had acute appendicitis,
> > > so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she
> > > was completely disrobed on the operating table, the
> > > staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed
> > > green, and above it there was a tattoo that
> > > read, “Keep off the grass.” Once the surgery was
> > > completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
> > > patient’s dressing, which said “Sorry, had to mow
> > > the lawn.”
> > >
> > > Mary Virginia Corkle R.N.M.N., Bernardsville
> > >

Shallow Hal

What a sweet little movie. It’s actually become one of my favorite romantic comedies. I didn’t find any of the fat jokes funny (except the “cankles” line, not cause it berates the fat, but because it’s a funny sounding word). I think most of the fat jokes were in the trailer anyway. What was hilarious was the way Jack Black danced, and I nearly wet myself when he bussed the maid. I cried at the end, just loved it.

The commentary was too full of useless info, pointing out that the grip’s wife was in a shot, or a friend of a friend was in a scene. Who cares ?
They should have left in the “Guess who got a promotion” scene. I thought it worked well.
And the dvd has one of the grossest easter eggs ever.

More Bumper Stickers

More Bumper Stickers

Constipated People Don’t Give A crap.

If You Drink, Don’t Park. Accidents Cause People.

If At First You Don’t Succeed,
Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling!

Horn Broken … Watch For Finger.

It’s Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

If You’re Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My butt.

I Have The Body Of A God … Buddha

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me

So Many Pedestrians – So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me. I’m Changing Lanes

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over…
[Seen upside down on a jeep]

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph…
Are Also Timed for 70 mph.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service – Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat: The Other White Meat

Caution – Driver Legally Blonde

Heart Attacks …
God’s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down…
Before He Admits He is lost?

Money Isn’t Everything, But Poverty Sucks!

Saw It … Wanted It … Had A Fit … Got It!

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that precious.

I need someone really bad…Are you really bad?

Laughable Lawsuits

Laughable Lawsuits

Six nurses who worked at a facility for the disabled were fired after refusing to comply with new countrywide rules that required them to give patients sexual assistance, such as helping them with masturbation or putting on a condom. The nurses have filed a lawsuit.

A Texan woman was awarded $780,000 after she sued a furniture store. She tripped and fell over a child running amok in the store. Surprisingly, she won the case, even though the child was her own.

An Indiana inmate sued because he was not given Rogaine to treat his baldness.

A Californian grandmother is suing Disneyland after she and her grandchildren witnessed Mickey Mouse taking off his costume backstage. The suit is due to her grandchildren’s traumatic experience.

According to an article (, Jerry Williams sued and won $14,500 plus medical expenses after his neighbour’s beagle bit him on the buttocks. The dog was on a chain in a fenced-in yard. Williams had been shooting the dog repeatedly with a pellet gun at the time of the incident.

A New York prison inmate is filing a suit for $8 million against the state after he accidentally shot himself with a gun he illegally smuggled in to the penitentiary. The inmate says that better security would have prevented him from getting the weapon inside.

A construction worker in Tulsa intentionally cut his hand off with a circular saw. When he was taken to the emergency room, he told doctors not to reattach the hand, saying that it was possessed. The man is now suing the doctors for not reattaching the hand, claiming that the doctors should have known he was psychotic.

Chris Morris brought a suit against the state of Michigan for $1 million. He claims he caught a cold in the rotunda of the state capitol building. He was there to observe an art exhibition.

An Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a party held for a guard who was leaving.

The Anheuser-Busch Company was sued by a man for emotional distress, because he had no luck with the ladies after drinking their product.

Robert Lee Brock, an inmate in Virginia, has filed a lawsuit against himself, claiming that he violated his own civil rights by getting arrested. He is suing for $5 million and is asking the state to pay, since he can’t have an income in prison.

A West Virginia woman won more than $2 million after she hurt her back opening a pickle jar at work.

An Ohio inmate sued the state for not being allowed soap-on-a-rope.

A restaurant in Philadelphia was sued after Amber Carson, of Lancaster Pennsylvania, slipped and broke her coccyx on a beverage that had been spilled on the floor. She was awarded $113,500. Not bad, considering she had thrown the drink at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

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