child of the 70’s

Are you a 70’s child?
You’re probably aged 25-35 if…

You wore anything Izod, especially those wind-breakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.
You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
In your sophomore class picture, you’re wearing a shirt with the collar “up”.
You know, by heart, the words to Weird Al Yankovic’s songs.
The Brady Bunch Movie brings back warm memories.
You remember the days when “safe sex” meant “my parents are going out of town”.
You thought “Weird Science” was a masterpiece.
You remember any of the following: Echo and the Bunnymen, Cutting Crew, Scritti Politti, or Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark.
Your first musical purchase was an 8-track tape.
Chevy Chase was really funny in those vacation movies.
You remember “Friday Night Videos” before the days of MTV.
A predominant colour in your childhood photos is “plaid”.
While in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play “1999” by Prince over and over again.
You remember that music that was labeled “alternative” really was.
You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van and remember riding in the back of the station wagon trying to get passing trucks to honk at you.
You often catch yourself saying “When I was your age”, “Youth is wasted on the young”, “I used to be able to do that”, or “What is that thing called again?”.
You can recite the Preamble to the Constitution, but only to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock.
You ever dressed like a cast member of a Duran Duran, Madonna, Rick Springfield, or Cyndi Lauper video.
You actually know who Rick Springfield is.
You know the origin of the phrase “Where’s the beef?”.
You remember when film critics were certain that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.
You wanted to move to Hawaii because that’s where Magnum lived.
If male: your first love was Marsha Brady, Jeannine, Samantha from Bewitched, Josie or any one of the Pussycat.
If female: you thought that Shawn Cassidy was “dreamy”, lusted after “Ted, your ship’s photographer” on the Love Boat or Chachi.
You don’t even want to remember the hairstyles you had in the 80’s.
You’ve shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, OK?
You actually remember Benetton.
You’re starting to believe that having the kids go to school all year wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.
You ever asked to be gagged with a spoon.
You remember when there was only “G”, “PG”, and “R”.
You were not allowed to see The Exorcist, The Omen, or The Blue Lagoon when they came out.
You learned to swim at about the same time that Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars.
You remember wanting to stay up to see Mr. Bill on Saturday Night Live.
You actually remember Mr. Bill.
You tuned in regularly to the adventures of the Bionic Man and Woman, Wonder Woman, and/or the Incredible Hulk.
You ever wanted to learn to play “Stairway to Heaven” on the guitar and choreographed “Dancing Queen” by yourself in your room.
You know all the words to the double-album set of Grease.
“All-skate, change directions” means something to you.
You ever owned a set of “Pop-Wheels”, that handy little combination of shoe and roller skate that lasted about a year on the open market.
You still wonder if Mikey died from a lethal cocktail of Pop Rocks and Coca Cola.
The first time you ever kissed someone was at a dance during “Crazy for You” by Madonna.
You freaked out when you found that you now fall into the “26 to 40” age category on questionnaires.
You remember trying to guess the first episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene.
You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura’s wedding.
You know who shot J.R.
This rings a bell: “and my name, is Charlie. They work for me.”
You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut or used Short and Sassy shampoo.
You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed “8-6-7-5-3-0-9” to see if Jenny would answer.
You remember having to get off the couch to change the TV channel.
You could sing “99 Red Balloons” in English and in German.
Most of the fillings in your mouth are directly related to Bazooka or Bubble Yum.
Rotary phones.
Leg warmers were cool.
It was a major accomplishment to get to the “Chase” scene in Ms. Pacman.
You ever owned a Donnie and Marie or Sonny and Cher poster.
There was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.

Updated: August 20, 2002 — 3:49 am