Ok, I know, a few weeks ago I gave up on this show and these fun little recaps . But I’m a masochist. I have to watch the showdown of the no-talent Davids, I’ve come around on David Cook. But he comes across as a pompous ass, and I strongly dislike David A. It’s like a fight between Aliens and Predators, no matter who wins – we lose. But at least it’s not a 2 hr extravaganza! So I’ll give this about 20 minutes to hook me, otherwise I’m just going to watch the Blu-ray version of Unbreakable that’s sitting in my PS3. Who is up first – I’m guessing it’s David. Ha. Man, can this show get any worse or cheesier? This opening is making me want to turn this crap off right now. Thank god for Tivo! I wonder if the thought of watching this is what sent my man Kennedy (my favorite Senator) over the edge today? Another thing about Kennedy – he’s NOT FREAKING DEAD YET! Stop reporting like he is!
This season has been so pre-planned and packaged that it’s clear the judges will faun all over David A and stick the knife in David C.’s back, twist it and then watch as his blood opens up the LA hell mouth. David Cook is doing the easiest Karaoke song possible – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, hell, I get applause when I do this song at Karaoke bars, and I can’t sing worth a damn. And Cook is HORRIBLE. He’s out of key and his voice sounds as bad as mine (I lost it during Sunday’s Indy screening). I’m fast forwarding to the comments. He’s terrible. So the Judges pre-canned comments should be right on.
After all these weeks I’ve finally stumbled onto the secret of Idol success. You can suck as much as you want to, forget the lyrics to songs, as long as you close your 90 second tune out with a screechy, long, high scream. That wakes the judges up. Randy loved this crap, who cares what Paula says, Simon loved it. David A is doing another one of my favorite songs – Don’t Let The Sun Go Down on Me. Again he just bugs me. Technically it’s alright, but it’s just “rote,” and he has no passion. Randy loved it and boo hoo, David’s crying. I’m so sick of Simon and his “Round 1 goes to…” crap. How about letting the Audience decide you putz. But he is right. David A was clearly better – even though I forwarded 30 seconds in.
It’s time for Round 2 First it’s Cook’s ditty, didn’t catch the name. Rick Springfield songs were on my Shuffle today (like 5 times!) and the song Cook is singing sounds exactly like a Springfield tune. I think it’s called “Don’t Have Faith.” Would it kill Idol to put the title and artist of the songs these people are butchering on the screen?? It’s interesting seeing a Rocker in an Idol final. They’ve come close in the last few years, but they never made it to the final 2. Didn’t understand Randy’s comments. Simon hated it. I guarantee he’ll love whatever David A does. David A is doing a song called “In This Moment.” It’s boring and I’m going to skip to the fawning. “Ooh David, you’re Hot Man on fire,” “What talent, I just want to snuggle with you,” “Round 2 goes to David.” This is the first time I’ve actually seen David sing with some emotion and, um, well, it’s like, um…Good. Much better than Cook’s track. Judges do fawn, Simon does do his “round 2 bit.” God I hate his aw-shucks, I’m good, let’s cry. It’s irritating. God, I just intensely HATE this kid. A commercial for Narnia is on, and I really want to see that again.
I’m tired of this crappy Rocky theme. It’s time for the last song. David Cook is singing something called The World I know by Collective Soul. Weird choice, not sure if this is original or not. It’s too mellow and not the type of song you want to end a singing competition with. He’s not Prince in Purple Rain and David A isn’t Morris, “Damn he won this competition with a Ballad!” Cook looks like he’s resigned to the idea that he’s going to lose. I hate Paula and her damn standing ovations. Simon agrees with me and thought it was completely wrong choice and he made a retarded suggestion that Cook should have done Billy Jean again. If Cook did that the judges would have skewered him and put his head on a spick. While Simon’s comments are almost always right on point, the motivation behind them totally invalidates anything he says this season.
Amazing, Archie IS repeating a performance and doing Imagine again and he’s awful AGAIN. It’s a boring train wreck. These two are the best American Idol has to offer us? Who cares what the judges say, you know they love them. The Archie thing wouldn’t be so bad if the judges let the audience decide for themselves. But they beat us over the head with the over the moon praise and it started way the hell back during the top 24. He’s an artificial creation who didn’t get to the finals honestly. The judges ignored all of his previous flubs, when they tore into other people for forgetting lyrics, when he had off nights it was always “it’s an off night baby, but you’re still HOT and will go far.” This putz had already won Star Search and other singing competitions. So spare me the fake crying and the Howdy Doody, Eddie Haskell attitude. He cried during ALL THREE Judges rounds. COME ON! I can understand one – maybe, but crying after all THREE performances! With all that said he was miles better than David Cook who phoned it in – which I can’t blame him, he knew the fix was in, so why bother trying?
The first time I ever saw it Taylor Hicks was auditioning and I loved that season, last year was pretty horrible. I have to admit I think this year some interesting talent but the Judges ruined the idea that this was a fair show. I promise you this, I’m done with Idol. I’m going to do Hell’s Kitchen. I like watching Gordon Ramsey go psycho. One of these days, he or one of the students is going to pick up one of those butcher Knives…..