Accident Reports

Who Knew Accident Reports Are So Funny?

An automobile crash is no laughing matter…or is it? Maybe it’s because folks are shook up after a collision, and they just aren’t thinking straight when they fill out the required accident report. Or maybe it’s a combination of the need to blame someone else and the very small space in which to do it.
Whatever it is, the result can be humorous. Here are accident explanations culled from REAL insurance claim forms, courtesy of the very creative and funny people at RinkWorks.com:

Just Blame the CAR!
“I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”

“The accident happened when the right door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal.”

“My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.”

When What Wasn’t There Before…Now Is
“Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.”

“I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it.”

“I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up, obscuring my vision.”

“As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.”

Pedestrians Have the Right-of-Way? Always?
“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.” “The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.”

“I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.”

“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.”

“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.”

You Mean This? Literally?
“I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”

“I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end, and there was a crash.”

“I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.”

“I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.”

I Sense a Pattern
“I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before.”

Oooh, That Must Hurt
“I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.”

“My wench slipped, losing my balance, and I hurt my back.”

Why You Need to Pay Attention to Your Driving
“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.”

Updated: October 3, 2002 — 9:42 am