Comments on: MOVIE REVIEW: Michelle Reviews Twilight: New Moon and declares she’s Team Jared!

By: Margarita

Margarita — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 01:03:27 +0000

I am whiny and self-centered at times, like everyone else. I still didn't relate to the books at all. I hated Bella. She didn't feel "real" to me, since how many average teenage girls would be so angry about nice, decent-looking, mildly popular guys liking them?

I had an "Edward," someone who was good-looking, thought about me constantly, treated me like a princess, wanted to be with me all the time, and came through my window at night. Guess what? It wasn't a healthy relationship. There is no way I would do that again. My husband loves me, but I am not his #1 preoccupation. He has friends and hobbies that do not involve me. I have friends and hobbies that do not involve him. We are still close and love each other very much.

"You like people for their virtues, but love people for their faults."

By: C.A.B.

C.A.B. — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:54:30 +0000

I'm just waiting for the way movie critics will respond to the vampire date rape/OMNOMNOMUTERUS/fall in love with a damned baby trifecta of horribleness in the now inevitable fourth movie. I cannot freaking wait. That's pretty much the moment the entire non-idiot fangirl world realizes how horrible these things are. Especially the OMNOMNOMNOMWOMB part. I seriously might pay to see that one just to see the reactions of the parents.

By: Guest

Guest — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 18:23:27 +0000

Jared is Jabob's wolf friend. This review got the names down.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:55:51 +0000

All of these Twihards make me LOL. Can't somebody post a negative review without getting bombarded by Twihard attacks? It's the lady's OPINION. Everyone has a right to one! And they wonder why normal people can't stand Twilight and its fans…hmmm…. On a side note: if I hear another Twihard cry about how one needs to read the books to understand the movie, I'm going to go on a freaking murderous rampage! It's a MOVIE! It should be able to stand on its own and not simply be an extension of the book. Oh, and Smeyer does write like an 11 year old. Somebody take that woman's thesaurus away!

By: Stephe

Stephe — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:35:59 +0000

There's a quality vampire romance from 1987 called Near Dark. The vampires in this film are not genteel and do not suffer fools gladly.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1014793-near_dark…

There's also a really good vampire movie about a romance between 12-year-olds, and it is not written on an 11-year-old level and is not meant to appeal to virgins afraid of sex. It's called Let the Right One In.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lat_den_ratte_kom…

By: pgh mom

pgh mom — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:30:59 +0000

remember this is fantasy—Saw Twillight before I read the books-thought i didn't like Bella beasue of Stewart's acting and portrayal. Read the books (which I really enjoyed) but found out that it is a combination of Stewart and the character. I have to say the little I have seen Stewart in the press- she really is Bella. Whiney and self absorbed. I actually vowed I would not see the movie ( Twilight) after I saw Pattinson on some talk show- thought he was a complete wack job. However after seeing him in the movie- WOW- Edward improved his image !! Sure there are some real problems with the movie-Twilight- very cheaply and pretty poorly made- but obviously it has something– just relax and fall into fantasy land and enjoy- even if the part that makes you happy is hating Bella

By: ava2

ava2 — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:37:27 +0000

This is horrifyingly poorly edited. DId they pay you for this or is it just a hobby? I know that sounds snide, but I'm really just curious. But about ten minutes of real editing and this is a great review. It's entertaining, funny, and to the point. I think A.O. Scott kind of sucks half the time – this is better than a lot of his stuff. But please proofread (have someone else do it if you're a poor speller).
I'm not exactly sure why everyone is saying you are ill-equipped to review just because you haven't read the books… Does that mean no one can review any movie who hasn't read the book first? Are books only companions to the movie now? Are film makers and actors exempt from attempting to provide any emotional complexity or coherency because it's all in the book already (though in this case, it's not)? This makes no sense at all.

By: Guest

Guest — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:57:47 +0000

There were moments where i looked at my phone to check the time. It was crazy how slow this movie was. And I fully agree with BellatrixBlack! Plus-If you want to experience one hell of a rollercoster, get on board for Bella's emotional one. Shit-In this movie she was up and down, up and down. I get the whole "The love of my life dumped me and left me" but it was still irritating. Although Kristen Stewart couldn't even show any other emotion than her confused dumb look that she has.

All in All……they should really change this movie genre into Comedy! I can't wait for eclipse..

By: Guest

Guest — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:57:33 +0000

Go Michelle! I agree with you…I have read all the books and thought the movie was hilarious. I mean hilarious in a bad way. My friends and I were laughing throughout the entire movie. Mothers and Grandmothers were literally sitting on the edge of their seats watching this movie. My friends and I were shocked to see such a more mature target audience supporting this crazy franchise. I really couldn't take this movie seriously. The only reason why we watched it was because of our experience with twilight. Twilight was not only worse in general but actually more funnier. Certain scenes made us ask,"Are you Serious???????".

(Part 2 below)

By: guest

guest — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:29:40 +0000

You don't like the office, friends, and lotr? along with this horribly constructed review..wow

By: Aargh

Aargh — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:49:29 +0000

Here is why http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsIJQIArHAY

By: Aaargh

Aaargh — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:48:13 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsIJQIArHAY

By: Jess

Jess — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:17:38 +0000

Yeah… I suppose that sometimes people inexplicably like Edward and/or Bella, and so want to see them together. I don't like Edward or Bella, though- I find both characters 2d and completely dislikeable (Edward is so controlling and Bella is a spineless wimp!)- but I enjoy watching these films. My only excuse is that I am 17 and find Taylor Lautner incredibly hot. And the amount of time he spends strutting around topless in this film- well. I like. Very much.

By: C.A.B.

C.A.B. — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:02:37 +0000

You DO realize that any idiot can get published if a publishing company buys the tripe they put out, right? You don't honestly think Sylvia Brown and Tim LaHaye are brilliant authors, do you? No, they both produced mass market crap that a certain subset of the population was going to consume voraciously, just as the focus groups forecasted. The modern publishing industry is astonishingly shallow and calculating. It's all about the marketing. Meyers is the same.

Also, I'll say it again, one need not have read the books to know that the movie is garbage. Plenty of people have never read the Lord of the Rings, but that doesn't mean its extremely positive reviews are invalid. The were reviewing THE MOVIE.

Oh, and OMGSHESGOTBOOKSUDONT is not a valid argument. Nice try, though, champ. Keep at it!

By: BellatrixBlack

BellatrixBlack — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:37:28 +0000

I usually don't comment on these things, but I just have to say something, this review is fucking awesome. It's like you took the words right out of my mouth. Ignore the other people who are bitching just because you hated the books/movie, they like Twilight, so that says it all about them. I agree with you, the book is crap, Bella's a fucking useless bitch and all the boys need to meet some real girls. The problem with this book is that while there are women in the world achieving great things, Bella is uselessly devoting herself to a boy and being glorified for it! Get a life! A woman can be more than this! She’s pathetic, this Twilight craze needs to stop. People need to get a brain and you are awesome for writing this review.

By: Josh

Josh — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:40:19 +0000

Just so you know, "piss pour" is the correct term. "Piss poor" is a bastardized term that emerged from people who are clueless about etymology. The term comes from the classic insult: “He would not be smart enough to pour piss out of his boots, if the instructions were written on the sole.”

By: T.H

T.H — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:58:48 +0000

What a surprise! A Twi-tard crying because her beloved wank material got bashed, so instead of defending the actual terrible writing (because she knows its bad), she goes for "Ummmm your grammar sucks!" Your argument is weak, Twilight is terrible, and FYI, you and your disgusting Twi-fan ilk have inadvertently donated over one million dollars to support Prop 8 and Prop 1. Yeah, you heard me- Meyer donates 10% of her earnings to the Mormon church, which just spearheaded those hateful campaigns. Go ahead and look it up. Then come back and "baawww" about my grammar since its all you've got.

By: malexandria

malexandria — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:36:48 +0000

Use a little reading comprehension, I DID READ the freaking book. At least book 1. And it's a MOVIE, I don't have to read the book to understand how bad a movie is.

By: APL

APL — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:08:20 +0000

Ahh Michelle. Wow. It's incredible how you can criticize this movie so much without first reading the BOOKS. Oh, and by the way… These characters are not real people. It is fictional, and purely for entertainment. So making a psychological profile of the characters("Bella") only makes you sound naive and immature. It's a movie based off of the books. Don't criticize the movie unless YOU'VE READ THE BOOKS! Speaking of Stephenie's writing… will you PLEASE post a link to where I can buy one of your books? Perhaps on Amazon.com? Oh, wait. You are not an actual author. You prefer to sit around criticizing other writers in an area that you have no experience in yourself. You are clearly jealous of her success and criticize her to make up for your utter failure at life in general. Was it your dream to be a famous writer? Because that would certainly explain your envious hostility. Phew. Now I feel better. So, here is my point of view. I have read all four books. And I am not an 11 year old girl! Imagine that! I thoroughly enjoyed them(along with millions of other adults… and probably some 11 year old girls!). I love Stephenie's writing style and fell in love with the story. I had doubts and worried that the movie would not meet my expectations but it exceeded them. Great acting and directing. Chris did an amazing job and kept the movie true to the book for the most part. I look forward to seeing the next two movies.

By: Caryn

Caryn — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:50:56 +0000

I'm just curious as to what you actually do think is enjoyable, and really wondering why failure to enjoy LOTR and STEPHEN King has anything to do with failure to enjoy the Twilight saga. Also, while you have good points about Bella as a character, it would make for a better review if you could say something about an acting performance beyond that it was "terrible." I do not know who you are, personally, but it is hard to believe you really tried to read the books. Considering your writing style and grammatical mistakes, as well as your terrible negligence where checking facts is concerned (I'm not even a fan and I know that Bella is 17, and that it isn't "Steven King") it's hard to believe that you put any real effort into the review or that you paid the artistic material the respect it deserves by at least paying attention to it before deciding to bash it.